Naya Tapper is the all-time leading try scorer in Women’s USA Rugby history.  She’s a two-time Olympian and a recent medalist in the Paris games.  She’s co-captained the national team and has established a scholarship in her name to help others afford getting into the sport.  The accolades go on and on and should help her secure a job as she’s in the midst of retirement from the sport, but Naya wants more than just a job.  She wants a career that she enjoys and the freedom to continue some of the philanthropic work and other passions she loves.  She knew she needed to get ahead of this major life transition, so she set out to engage with her network and find some mentors who could help guide and support her along the way.  Naya says she set out “to meet people that could elevate me in a way where once I was done playing, I would be useful outside of sport.”  Naya credits the smooth transition she’s experiencing so far with the work she’s done with a couple of mentors starting almost a year out from retirement to plan and prep for what’s next.

“So, how do I find a mentor?”  I hear this question often from clients who are looking for some support.  My reply is always, “What do you need help with?”  We have loads of people within our network, but a mentor relationship is pretty special when it’s grounded in a real and specific need.  This is the part many of us brush over and don’t spend enough time considering.  It can result in awkward mentor/mentee pairings that feel forced, and meetings turn into just checking a box to say you met with your mentor this month.  Neither party gains much out of this.

Here are some tips I use with clients to identify who might be a good fit for a mentor:

1. Identify the Need – Is there a skill you’re trying to gain, a job transition you’re looking to make, a hobby you want to take up, or some other specific reason you could use some support?
2. Start With Your Network – Once you’ve identified what you want to learn, give some thought to anyone within your current network who might have some experience.  This is a great place to start on who might be a fitting mentor for this specific area.
3. Use the 5 Degrees – If you can’t think of anyone within your network who has some expertise, reach out to 5 people you trust and tell them what you’re looking to learn to see if they know anyone in their network that might fit the bill.  Someone generally knows someone else who can help.
4. Ask for 15 Minutes – Your first conversation is just an introduction to the thing you’re trying to learn and to find out if the other person has some experience here.  There’s no need to even mention the word “mentor” in this conversation.
5. Ask for Support – At the end of that introductory conversation, simply ask if this person would mind if you reached out with further questions.  If they say “yes” (and they generally will), then be sure to follow up when you could use further guidance.
6. Be Specific – Make sure you have something specific you want to discuss with this new mentor each time you reach out or have time scheduled to meet up.  You may want to discuss a challenge you’re facing or a question that’s come up, and it’s much easier for this mentor to provide guidance and advice when you’re specific in your ask.

Getting over the fear of rejection and expectation in finding a mentor is much easier when you focus on the specific thing you could use some support with.  The best part about these interactions is that some of them are bound to turn into lifelong connections with people you really trust and are fully invested in your success over the long term.

To learn more about how we help individuals tap into their network and navigate major transitions in life, drop us a line at The Next Playbook to chat about your goals.

-Derika

P.S. To hear the full conversation with Naya, join us at The Next Playbook Podcast and sign up for our Newsletter to hear about new posts. You can also follow us on social media via Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.